When you say it's gonna happen now - well, when exactly do you mean?

And if the end of the world
can't bring us together
then nothing can

Narrow streets of cobblestone

Hi!

I haven't updated this blog in a long time, I'm sorry. But the real reason is mainly that there just is nothing to update. The same shit as always.

Nahh, to be honest, I've been better these last few months than I've been in years. I don't know why, but I just haven't been feeling that terrible striking feeling of loneliness and emptiness I've felt before. I don't know if this means I'm seriously getting better. I do doubt it but I'm grateful for this short break. To those who are wondering what I'm talking about I can say that I've been diagnosed chronically depressed a few years ago. I've propably been depressed since being very very young, but nobody noticed because I didn't tell anyone. I never told anybody. But at the end I was almost psychotic (for example I went on a walk one day and just layed in the snow for hours in the middle of a snowy forest and just wished I would die, or intentionally burned my hand) so it became quite obvious. You will propably hear more about these things in my blog in the future, since they are there in my life every day. If someone wants me to tell more details I can do that. I'm not shy about this, but I'm not an attention-whore either. I like to think that maybe someone finds it helpful to talk about this. I've never really liked talking, but I realize it's a way for some people to express their feelings... 

 Or something.

To be honest I've never really thought that I'm depressed, I still don't. I'm just lazy, that's it. If I want to lay in a dark room and never come out, not clean my room, not see my friends, not think, not feel, not go to school, not find a job, not grow up, what else is that except laziness? But for some reason no one believes me when I tell them this.

My philosophy in life is that everything passes eventually. I'm nothing special, you're nothing special. But it isn't a dark point of view to me, it's a calming thought. That I don't have to worry, it will all end one day anyway. And I just think of the Universe and how small and non-excistant we all are and it blows my mind. To think we're so small. But we're still all part of the same system and we're all the same. Yay hippie thoughts!

Erm, anyway...

Well obviously something has happened in my life, but nothing that would interest anyone else. I've had some new friends and they make me happy! School-work takes all my time, and I still haven't uploaded that youtube video I promised. Here, have some crappy web-cam pictures!

XOXOXO- Evan